31 January 2006

My cat ate my arm

i have a very sweet cat named Goose. i adopted him six years ago and i like to think we get along swimmingly. he's low key, he only barfs occasionally, and pretty much keeps his poop in the litterbox. he's just aloof enough that when he's affectionate, i feel like he must really love me. and what, you must be asking, does this have to do with food?

i'll tell you.

yesterday, i went lap swimming for the first time in a long time...okay, for the first time ever. despite showering, i still smelled a bit like chlorine. not a big deal. i go to bed, innocently tucking in with my arms flailed over my head.

at 6am, i wake to my cat standing over me on my pillow, which is unheard of. he never gets on my pillow--he's one of those sleep at the foot of the bed kind of cats. he leans in and starts licking my right arm. i'm not talking a little love lick, i'm talking big, broad licks up and down my forearm, savoring every bit of chlorinated tart saltiness he can fine. after about 30 seconds (but really if felt longer), he took a quick whiff and then, i swear, a tentative bite. gentle and certainly no where close to skin breaking, but definitely a bite. "huh, that's odd," i thought, "i'm sure he won't do that again." but, again, after a few more licks, another little nibble. my cat was essentially working his way up to eating my arm. um, that is SO not cool.

fearing for my arm's safety, i tucked it under the blankets. he gave the blankets a half-hearted scratch, scowled at me and jumped off the bed.

so, what gives? i know he has a walnut-sized brain, but i thought we had, like, some sort of bond. i mean, i would never eat him! maybe it's revenge for my constant taunting with tasty treats. here i am eating cheesecake mere inches away from the poor guy. nonetheless, we could talk about it. no need to take such drastic measures! i was just kidding around. i probably let him lick the plate!

or maybe its that he's sick of his admittedly unexciting dry food. yes, it's "roasted chicken" but its still hard little brown pellets. but when i gave him canned food, well, there were issues that i won't get into on a food blog. and sometimes i give him little Pounce treats, plus i can always be counted on for table scraps. apparently, all this means nothing to him. if my nice meaty arm is available for eating, so be it. eat it, he will.

i'm totally traumatized.

7 Comments:

Anonymous dargie said...

My Caddy does that. Not the licking part so much but gentle little bites, mostly the tip of my nose or my chin or my cheek. It happens when he seems almost to be tripping out on me, as if the concetrated essence of Mommy is just too much for him to bear without biting down a little. Often he does it and then closes his eyes as if in Kitty Bliss Death. Sometimes he just hangs on for a second. Frankly, I am not sure they know why they do it, but I don't imagine you're in any real danger. *g*

11:35 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Delicious said...

My cat totally licks and bites my ankles when I get out of the shower. More than little love bites, too. It is disconcerting! I would advise putting some lotion on after you swim, but my other cat is obsessed with scented skin products and tries desperately to lick all the perfume or lotion off my arm if I put some on. SO WEIRD.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous miranda said...

weird! charles used to sit and lick the salt off my hands and arms if i'd been exercising or something, but chlorine?

btw. that smell never leaves. i think it's the reason they have 'swimmers build' on online profiles... to tip people off that you may have a hot body, but you smell like chlorine. mmhmmm.

i guess you're busy right now. ha.

.m

8:40 AM  
Blogger l'il hateful said...

You weren't even trapped in the Sierras or anything. Odd ... Cat will nibble on me sometimes, but she eats her own fur, so there's no basing anything of value on her habits.

8:53 PM  
Blogger cindym said...

i think this is wishful thinking, since your favorite movies (delicatessen, and that one about the chocolate factory with prunella) all involve people being eaten. admit it! you WANT to be cat food!!

9:14 AM  
Blogger Deepfry said...

cindy, you know that i prefer movies in which people are eaten by other people, not by animals. it's, like, totally different!

4:22 PM  
Blogger Zahrala said...

My cat Wilma always seems very interested in licking me just after I've put lotion on. This seemed a little weird and quite self-destructive, but I thought it was just one of her quirks. Maybe cats just like chemicals.

1:50 PM  

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