03 January 2003

i drank jesus

chinatown is a mystical place. last night, after a fine dinner at the phoenix, where they were very attentive to the amount of tea we had left in our tea pot throughout the evening, logan, ann and i headed downstairs for bubble tea. cafe conundrum, as dubbed by logan, was dimly lit, with dark red walls bearing posters of john belushi, anime, japanese boy bands and anne geddes naked baby bums. televisions hanging over the bar played the Orange Bowl (usc vs. iowa). with a one-drink minimum per person we all ordered tasty frosty drinks but logan's selection clearly surpassed anything i could have ever dreamed of. he ordered the "I Love Jesus," a tasty mix of strawberry ice cream and coconut milk (or 7-up). I. Love. Jesus. I chose "Satin," a chocolate ice cream cocacola drink listed directly under I Love Jesus (and you know there's a typo in the name of that drink because god loves strawberry and the devil prefers chocolate).

Queries regarding the I Love Jesus drink:
Does one consummate one's love of Jesus in consumption of the drink?
How did they decide that this drink was the I Love Jesus drink? Was there a fight? Did someone else think the I Love Jesus should have vanilla ice cream and orange soda?
Why do they give you that really fat straw when there are no chunks in the drink?
Was I up all night with a caffeine buzz because I turned away from Jesus and chose Satin instead?

as we heathens sipped the fruity nectar of god and stomped each other in jenga and connect four, a group of ten or so clearly underage highschool students gathered around a table, chain smoking, drinking beer, reading YM and talking about weight loss. these girls and the boys sitting with them could not have possibly been over 17 years old. which was brilliant given the proudly displayed "You Booze, We Lose" poster hanging just a few feet away (under John Belushi standing in front of an american flag in his college shirt swigging a bottle of jack daniels).

i love this country.


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