(wo)Man versus Meat: The Final Showdown

versus

It's a Saturday night. I just put a brisket in the oven. The timer is set for 4 hours. I have a paper to write. It must reach at least 1500 words. Who will finish first? Me or the brisket?

Updates from our embedded journalist
17:40hr
wordcount: 675
brisket: baking

18:23
wordcount: 1,245 but no end in sight, certainly not 300 words from now! curses!
brisket: baking, audibly simmering

Final Results
Curses! I just lost a competition to a slab of beef. Who knew it was possible for one human to experience such defeat! The brisket is done and I'm well beyond my word count requirement, yet tragically not near completion of the paper. This is problematic for many reasons, the contest only being the most important.

versus

i fought the brisket, and the brisket won.

last post-final results update
22:35hr
wordcount: 2,201. paper is complete. topic was cut in half three times. now it's time to edit.
brisket: cut, cooled and in the refrigerator.